Well Shit ....

I got my grade back today for my 3rd exam. Soil mechanics, or in more colorful terms, geotechnical engineering. I got a 68%, which is a D. A high D, but a D nonetheless. The problem with this exam is that I didn't blow off studying. I studied for quite a while, I made up a cheat sheet. And even more frustrating, is that I knew how to do everything. 4 sections, 3 main problems and 1 misc section. I knew all 3 of the big parts, but knew I'd miss a few on the misc true/false questions, and I did.

The big point loss came though, from running out of time. 10 minutes more and that grade would have been an 88 easily, but I ran out of time and didn't finish the last problem. I also realized with 30 seconds left that I made a mistake in the beginning of said last problem. I went back and fixed it, and wrote out what I should have done. I didn't have time to redo all the calculations though, and I wrote that. I got zero partial credit. I find that harsh, but not unfair.

This is really sort of a blow to me, because the past few weeks have been really difficult. I went home for fall break to recharge and came back in a good mood, ready to take on the rest of the semester. And then this happens. And it happens on an exam where there was really nothing I could have done better in preparation. It's the kind of thing that makes me question whether I have what it takes to be an engineer, because this isn't supposed to be on of the hardre classes.

I walked out of class after looking at the graded exam, which was passed back at the beginning. I walked around for a while outside, and then came here. Frankly I want to curl up into a ball and sleep, because sleeping I get to start over with a new life, however temporary the dreams are. But I can't.

So I came to a computer lab, pulled out some engineering paper, and started working ahead on thermo homework. I've got a thermo exam next week, which is going to be rough. I got a 97% on the last one though, my only decent test score this semester. My plan then, is to focus my efforts for the rest of today on thermo. I'm going to study this entire weekend for this exam, and hopefully blow it's head off, because I need to reassure myself that I can.

And if I do fail this next exam, even after these weekend of extra studying and in a class I'm good at ... then I'll reassess whether this is the career choice I really want to be in, and if a change might be necessary.